I haven’t told a lot of people this….
When I was 17 something happened in my life, and I shout myself out.
When I was 31 old wounds came up like hot lava.
As a 17-years old girl, instead of feeling the pain because of what happened, I closed myself unconsciously.
I built a thick shell around my heart.
I didn’t know how to handle that teenage life I had, and most importantly, I didn’t have someone to talk to, whom I trusted, who knew what I was going through…
Yes, I had my mom or girlfriends, but in the time and place I grew up we didn’t talk like that…
As I was the older sister I never had one or someone who would just hug me so tidily and say: "It's gonna be just fine", that my life it’s gonna be OK, and that I can create the life I want, not the one they want.
I guess I wish to have someone who could guide me through some shi* in my life because they already have been there and could share with me their story for how they handled…
#1 not knowing what they want from life and not having all figure it out before certain age
#2 not following the societal checkbox list and timelines (getting married by 25, having kids before 30s, owning an apartment, mortgage, car, vacations once a year…). Having a great career and everything sorted out before 30 etc
#3 and the most important thing is that love starts within us and requires daily practice, and it’s a damn hard thing